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Memories

April 2006
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Credits

Designer: lil.queens
Picture: selfhaircuts | yayu
Background: lazee:D
Host: photobucket | imageshack

something is wrong with me, my body system, my feelings and my expressions today. i did everything of the opposite. haha! actually i know deep inside me hurts. but i don't wanna rant to anybody. i know i did not made the wrong choice. i'm sure.
change change change please.


probably i shouldn't even try to blend in at all.. cause things doesn't work and i shouldn't force my way through.. yupyupyup.. when things like this happens, i always tell myself that it doesn't matter.. no point getting upset over this.. i still have to continue with my life.. =)

yeah, i've given up..
no doubt, i'm still happy!


out with bee eng and tirta today.. caught get smart, hmmm, i don't know if i should say the movie is nice or not but it was rather hilarious actually.. haha.. walked around and went to bugis, the initial plan was to shop around because yyq needs to get tops but in the end we didn't get a single thing.. trained home with yyq together with sweet.. yyq insisted on seeing love but the timing was so so wrong.. but i promised her that i'll bring love for her to see someday.. i promised!! =)

love is not only silly and cute but he's simply a super blockhead that no one can ever imagine.. i almost puke blood can.. but i made him as my choice.. so i got no regrets..

school is on on monday.. so sunday shall be my off day.. rest, slack, rot, decompose at home.. haha.. as promised to mummy, i'll help her with the beansprout stuffs next week.. other than gym with the girls, shopping with jessica, dinner with the girls, transmark visit and night out with love, i shall be a good girl by staying at home to help out for the rest of the day.. but it seems that ít doesn't really make a difference.. probably some arrangement just need to be done.. i just realised i need some time to spend with my family..

went over to love's house last evening for dinner with him and his friends.. watched Drillbit Taylor online and Chucky 2.. i think our standard routine at his house is just to watched online movie.. haha.. watched till 12am and went to plaza singapura for movie with another group of friends.. caught wanted! omg!! i like the movie.. damn cool though love said it's a little exaggerating.. must watch! the ending is unexpected.. =) reached home at 4.30 and went to bed after messaging with love for a while..

whenever i read the message, i'll be smiling away cause love's message is just so silly.. in fact, we're getting better and better.. improving day by day.. =)

i love my sillylove.. (:


my ex colleagues at transmark are still so concern about me even though i had quit.. like asking me to eat and sleep more because i look thinner now.. =( so sweet of ong la!! omg! was initially going back on this coming monday but i got school.. so i'll probably be going back on friday instead.. the last time i went back was during april.. it's been 2 months since i went back.. how i wish i can work with them again..





YES!! i hereby announced that i'm damn happy because this week is the end of my 2 modules!!! felt so relieved can.. went back to school to submit my work and head straight home.. felt so restless for the whole day can.. tired like mad.. rest a while and tidy up my room a little, finally it's clean and green.. cause i keep what i'm supposed to and put up what i have to..

i'm happy! cause me and love will be meeting tomorrow.. =)


model making module has finally come to an end.. i think my speaker panel seem to have a little bit of problem la.. but at least i tried my very best to get it done nicely.. so i'm still happy.. =) as for drawing essentials, almost done.. gonna start on my storyboarding soon.. yeah!! no lessons tomorrow.. damn happy.. only gotta go back to school to submit my work and i'll head straight home to rest.. not meeting love or anybody else.. i shall have a good rest tomorrow.. because tonight is another sleepless night.. i feel super tired now but i just can't sleep without having my work undone because i'll feel damn guilty..
maybe i should go with a cup of coffee or something.. haha!!!

dinner with love tomorrow has been cancelled.
i'm still learning.
love Love.. =)


i guess i'm gonna be supergirl for the night.. still left with some work undone when the deadline is on thursday afternoon.. no more early sleep tonight.. gonna chiong as much as i can in order to submit everything by the due date..

sweet.. please listen to me ok.. don't do things that you shouldn't do.. you're making me very worried about you again.. please remember what you promised me before..


i miss love..
though i just saw him yesterday..
haha!

i'm taking a rest now.. only half of my sketchbook done.. OMG!! i feel like killing myself.. but i can't stop, otherwise all the hardwork may just went down into the drain..
i still remember my secondary 3 class had this motto for our class class motto.. NEVER BACK DOWN FROM CHALLENGES.. it's printed on the class t-shirt which i''m still wearing after so long..


overslept this morning because i kept on snoozing my alarm clock.. until around an hour later, it stopped and i only managed to wake up 2 hours later.. i'm glad i didn't slack today cause i managed to draw draw draw and draw.. haha!

went over to love's house this evening.. watched an online movie, quite nice though i missed the beginning of the story.. now then i realised just by spending time together though nothing meaningful had been done can also be great.. get well soon love..
love and i got the same studs coincidentally.. mine is red while his is silver.. =)

somehow i still feel the gap in between me and them after so long.. i thought the gap had been closed but it's just an assumption afterall..


had a long day today, but fruitfully spent!! went to causeway point, did my drawings after shopping.. i bought a new stud today!! happy like mad! haha.. i did quite a lot today la.. 7 pages for today eh.. super great sense of achievement ok.. went back amk to meet sweet for dinner or supper i should say.. haha.. bro couldn't come cause initially dumbarse was going back to redhill.. in the end, had a changed of plan..

i feel so much better after ranting to 2 of my dearest girlfriends today.. thanks darlings.. =) seriously, both of you are the best darlings ever.. loveyou!!

it's ok for not being supportive but do put yourselves in my shoes please.. i don't need to bear with the sacarstism you both gave..

but anyway, fumes over.. =)


thanks love =)
i'm happy again..
i guess you fell asleep..


i know it's really super retard of me to have the temptation of piercing my tongue again!! because i've been saying i wanna do it and yet i haven't had my tongue pierce after so so so so long..
but i know i have to go through a lot in order to pierce my tongue.. so maybe you guys can just ignore what i had said above.. i think i'd said i wanna pierce my tongue for like 100 or 1000 or even million times but still haven't pierce.. probably if i ever get my tongue pierced, i'll just post pictures up and not give signal anymore.. haha..

did quite a lot of work today.. quite satisfied though still very slow.. but i'm really trying already..


home!! i think my overslept habit is getting from bad to worst.. i didn't miss my stop this morning but i overslept at home this morning.. this week is the 2nd time i overslept.. the first time was because i slept late the night before.. but i slept early yesterday la.. i don't even know how could i overslept when i already got enough sleep today.. got a shock when i saw the time was 8am! i'm suppose to leave home by that time la.. so, same as the first time i was late, cabbed to school.. COST ME A BOMB CAN!! expensive like mad la!! but no choice, cause i didn't wanna miss my lesson as i'm only gonna be in school by around 10 if i take bus.. i better not say how much was the fare because i think everyone is gonna kill me if i write the cost down.. just imagine, i cab during the peak hours.. gotta pass through expressway some more.. by thinking of it makes me feel crazy.. my mummy totally has no idea that i'm late and cabbed to school twice this week.. i think she'll scream at me like mad if she knows about it.. i swear i'm not gonna be late for school tomorrow.. gonna use the "real" alarm clock instead of my phone's alarm.. no more cabbing to school.. if i said i'm broke this week, please believe me.. cause half or more of my allowance had been spent on cab.. =(

probably i'll do some sketching outside during the weekends.. just by staying at home doesn't seem to be enough for me..

up and down.
what to do.
clueless.


i finally start on my speaker panel today though it's only the very very very super first stage.. no more level 0 which is nothing done.. haha!! my 40 pages seem to be going on quite smoothly though i only got 2 pages done at the moment but i quite like the one i drew today.. =) i told jamie and siti that i only got one done this afternoon and they burst out laughing la.. because i sound as if i had done a lot.. haha.. today is another page done..

oh ya! this morning was the 2nd or 3rd time i missed my stop due to overslept!! nehneh sai la!! i was actually awake when i was 1 stop away from my alighting stop.. but i fell asleep again and that was how i missed my stop.. didn't wanna look panic to avoid embarrassment.. so alighted at the next stop and went opposite to take bus back.. i know i sound stupid.. haha!! i'm also laughing at myself.. it's either i knocked on the railing when i was sleeping on the bus or i missed my stop when i was sleeping.. to be honest, sometimes i even dreamt when i was sleeping on the bus or train can.. muahahahaha! but recently i don't know why but i dreamt of me eating and my mouth was actually chewing.. omg!! i'm like treating the bus or train as my bed already la..

i'm like sitting on rollercoaster every now and then.
i guess i'll find my way through after spending some time alone.
just like today, spent some time alone and i sort of sort things out.
comfort & attention.


i've decided!!!! gonna have a good rest at home during this weekend.. i can't continue staying out.. i need to catch up with my assignments and projects.. otherwise i'll cry like mad.. so guys, pardon me if i couldn't meet you people this week..
i realised i need some time for myself..
like spending the week at home to complete my work, get some stuffs for sis with mummy, watch the unfinish vcds with mummy, edit all the pictures i've yet edit and also to let myself have some rest..
i can't continue being so so so busy every week.. i need some time for myself..


kung fu panda is funny!
though it's just so kiddish.. we still enjoyed ourselves a lot..
as usual, got even more photos to upload.. but everything just gotta leave to tomorrow..

and, SWEET HAS CHANGED!!!!! =( she don't love me anymore!! i'm sad like mad..
setting off to my dreamland soon, tired! gym is on tomorrow.. i hope i won't go cui after so many days of few hours sleep..

my voice is recovering.. haha!!!!!

you kept me thinking, whole day.


i'm gonna faint soon.. drawing essentials not done, model making not yet start, sketchbook not even one page done.. everything also not yet completed like mad.. a little restless to do everything.. luckily i'm home early today.. thought lesson will end at 4pm but it turn out to be 12.. gonna start drawing while waiting for my sweet to wake up..
town again! but i haven't been to town with sweet for very long already.. yeah!! gonna cam whore like mad later!!! =)


i'm in love with
take a bow.





i guess sooner or later i'm gonna sound like a bapoh..
stupid nehneh sai.
i feel so sick today.
sore throat, i need change of throat.
nose block, new nose for me please
the weather this morning was LIKE MAD, so cold la.

sanding = dust = air pollution = sick


dead beat today..
but better than the past few days cause i went to the gym yesterday.. so i somehow felt a little bit more refresh.. haha! initial plans for the coming 2 days were cancelled and i can finally rest a little.. been eating too much nowadays!! omg!! i think i'm gonna grow fat like mad.. =(

yesterday, my lecturer was funny.. though he gave me negative comments on my work, i still find him damn cute.. we were doing the vanishing point thing during lesson yesterday.. so he was helping everyone in class to make sure we were going on the right track.. don't know if i was dumb or what, i know what i was doing was wrong but i just couldn't adjust here and there to get it right.. so when he was about to call it a day, he said something so powerful that the whole class were laughing away la.. he said "everyone is getting it already.......... very good.." then he walked towards me and continue "except for her..... hahahaha..." yes, this made everyone burst into laughter and he himself also laughed.. i also laughed like mad can.. haha.. but i know he didn't mean anything bad.. he's just so cute.. haha..

stupid me, answered the phone just now.. i find that number familiar but i just couldn't remember whose number does it belongs to.. then i found out it was him.. nehneh sai! really stupid me.. he was trying to make use of me again but i didn't give him a chance to.. haha!


happy birthday mummy
happy birthday buddy
happy birthday esther

=)


everything was great today.. really great.. celebrated mummy's birthday one day in advance and daddy's day one week in advance with dad, mum, brother and his girlfriend at thai express.. we even took pictures together.. brother sent me to amk train station and i headed off to meet bee eng.. shopped around marina square, was still very happy though i didn't managed to get my top.. took bus back to amk and something devastating happened to me just within a few seconds..
there's this guy who called me and said those super bastard thing to me which made me fumed like mad!! really fuming and i almost wanna reply him using vulgarities.. which i only said it out of anger because i normally don't use them.. he's really a bastard and i swear i super felt like slapping him at the moment.. I was ANGRY LIKE MAD la.. i don't wish to be anyone's substituition and i never wanna be one.. yet he thought he can just treat me like one.. probably i really gave him the wrong idea because i still bother to pick his calls, reply his messages, let him accompany me, meet him in school when i have the time to when he confessed to me after that.. but but but but but but but....
i'm always like that.. i don't avoid guys just because i knew they felt something for me.. because i just think that we can still be friends even though after the confession.. i was damn affected when he said those super bastard stuffs to me.. but he wasn't the reason, just that i felt so.... arhHHhhh!! i don't know what to say but i'm not gonna pick up this calls or reply his messages from now onwards..
just scram if you see me as that kinda girls.
i don't even wanna be your friend at all.
SCRAM!


happy one year anniversary to Sis and Brother-in-law! =)
happy marriage!!!!!
lovelove.. =)

10 months.
myfeeling, present.
missyou



my aunt is super sweet can!! she purposedly made me this giraffe cake all by herself la!! omg!! this is the first time she baked a cake for me and i was so happy when i saw it from mummy.. it is really for me and not anyone ok.. because she said to mummy that i'm still young, so she baked a giraffe cake for me.. it's made of almond and mango.. it taste SUPERBLY GOOD.. she just started to learn baking cakes and this turns out great la.. i still told my mum not to share with other guests who gonna come to my house tomorrow.. it's ok if you call me a stingy ass because i'm only gonna share this cake all by myself and with my family.. haha!!
actually i always have this thought that my aunt doesn't really dotes on me a lot.. because we doesn't really keep in contact a lot unless during some certain festivals or events.. we aren't really close to her too.. but until this year then i realised she actually treats me quite good.. thanks aunty katherine!! =)



indeed everything is ok now.. i swear i'm damn happy!! really happy like mad!! haha..

the process of fighting with besties, patching up and being so sweet and loving again is always, forever giving me so many different kind of feelings.. from upsetting, hurting to happy and still very HAPPY.. but like what some people said, it's actually alright and common to have fights and unhappy moments.. because it's gonna be worth it until the end of the day when we got back as our friendship became even stronger and this is what makes us got even closer to each other and treasure each other even more each time.. right sweet? the few previous times were me being angry with you and this time is the other way round.. =) and i'm always having this particular problem with my best friends.. is it good or bad? because i still don't get it..

well, at least i end my day happily..
i love my darlings like mad!
haha..

something i thought and heard of has been in my mind thinking for quite some time.. it's about forgiveness.. someone told me that a person ought to be given a chance after doing something wrong..
i wonder if i'm being way too mean to someone.. i'm like taking advantage of someone ever since don't know when..
am i giving a chance or am i being way too much?


longbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusride
longbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusridelongbusride
emoperiod.
while waiting for a text to come, i'm thinking of plans for later.. i can't be like a choo-choo train that keeps going non-stop.. had school until 3 everyday, went home, changed and went out to complete my assignments, worked till at most 2am, then home to sleep.. i'm like overworking my brain la! i think i need some time for myself later or even just with 2 other friends is also good..
are you still angry? please don't be.

broke and tired.


busy LIKE MAD..
really gonna turn MAD..
unhappy LIKE MAD..
miss LIKE MAD..
felt so lost LIKE MAD..
what can i do to make the worst become good?
should i change the way i'm thinking?
am i a lousy friend?

screwed up.


nephew jaden and jerel are all super duper CUTE LIKE MAD!! omg!! jaden is finally able to face strangers and we had a good time playing together.. =) baby jerel is so cute, cause he smiles whenever we talked to him.. =)

anyway, my main purpose is...
i'm sorry sweet.. probably you are really angry with me this time.. i wanted to tell you the truth just now but i didn't know how to.. because it's always the same answer that i'm gonna reply to you.. it may not seem to sound convincing.. but do you know it's only my first week of school yet i already got a lot of homework to do.. all of them need to take quite some time to finish.. take today for example, i just realised i still have not done the 40 pages of sketchings, also the drawing i need to do for today and last one was the model making.. i'm really not trying to give excuses that i don't wanna join you tonight.. but i really hope that you can understand me and in fact you know me well.. i'll really meet you if i can ever make it.. i know i used to say that we can go clubbing on wednesday.. i also wanna have fun with you.. but my homework and assignment are really loading me so much that i've been really busy trying to complete them as much as possible..
i really didn't expect that i'll be so busy ever since school starts therefore i promised you in the past that we shall go club on every ladies night.. i just hope that you can understand the state i'm in now.. the journey to and from school is really tiring, what's more is that i still have so many many assignments that i need to rush.. everything is really not easy if i really have to balance my time for play and study.. i also wish i have a lot of time spare to play and for you.. but do you know, things really aren't what you see.. i'm almost taking most of my time for my studies, it's just so tiring everyday..

i always thought we'll have the time to meet up on weekends.. but we actually just can't accommodate to each other's time.. i also tried initiating to meet up after my lessons during the weekdays.. still, ain't successful.. actually before you called me today, i thought of telling you that probably we should fix a day every week to meet up either for dinner or shopping.. maybe that will be enable us to meet up more often.. but before i had the chance to tell you.. things went wrong.. i don't wanna us to continue being like this.. i don't know what to do then you'll understand what i'm trying to say.. don't be angry already can.. sorry..
like what you said, i really miss every single thing with you and especially you, my best friend..


eh, i miss taking pictures.. whether they are pictures of unglam ones, retarded ones, cute ones, normal ones or even random ones.. ai ya, just miss taking pictures la!!!

maybe it's really time to change my status in friendster.. but, you know.. =) ok, i just changed it like a second ago.. haha!! i don't know my reason for changing, neither it is like how i told my friends in the past.. but, i guess, there's no point to keep it complicated cause it's just very simple when comes to think of it.. my status had been complicated for the past 8 months already.. nothing changes and why not just move on.. yupyupyup..


time flies really fast like mad!! it's already my last day of holiday today.. had a fun night last night with you-know-who.. haha!! i like only slept for 3 hours or something then woke up for my big breakfast..
school's gonna start tomorrow and i'm actually rather happy about it.. because i get to see my poly friends like 2 days later after the indunction project!!! =) new term = new modules.. i wonder how will the modules be like and i hope the first day will be a relax day.. gonna finish my holiday assignment later in case i can't finish by the due date..

i miss induction project, group 7 and workshop!! i know it's very random of me.. but i'm not used to it leh.. without jessica, kai siong, samir, hakim, lindis, ivy and hui yi around, no one will be laughing like mad together with me whenever i say OKAY *low tone* and whatever also ends with LIKE MAD.. because others don't get the joke out of it la.. =(
MISS THEM LIKE MAD!!

anyway, HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR COUSIN TAY WEI SHAN!! love love love you like mad!! =)