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Designer: lil.queens
Picture: selfhaircuts | yayu
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yeah!! happy today! went shopping with mummy at town.. went to buy some important stuffs for myself and went shopping around the building at centrepoint.. bought 2 tops and 1 belt from espirit, 1 pair of slippers at m(phosis and some facial washing stuffs at OG.. happy happy happy can.. been some time since i feel so rich to have bought so many stuffs at one go.. haha.. took bus back to amk and fell asleep on the bus.. super tired.. went for dinner and home sweet home.. came back and i started to have nose block again.. super jam can.. arhHhH!! damn it.. been like that nowadays.. stupid nose block.. it's just frustrating cause i can't breathe in a proper and normal way.. =(


used to be 3
coming in 2
sometimes in 1
but often in 2
missing the 3
at least still 2
when can be 3
wonders in 1 i'm so upset over things that had happened nowadays..


been doing nothing much nowadays.. now then i know that my weekdays are actually so boringly spent.. other than meeting sweet for dinner at amk, played billard and nothing else anymore.. still haven't found job yet.. i know it's horrible.. but.. it's not that i don't wish to look for one know.. i'm gonna put in more effort in searching for jobs.. otherwise sooner or later, i'll declare bankcrupt and i don't wish to be heavily in debt..
guess my life for the past 2 or 3 days will be rather boring.. cause i'm event-less.. but i'll try to find some stuffs to keep myelf occupied.. i can't continue go on like this for long..
things changed and we seem to have changed too..


i chose to remain silent..
i chose to hide..
i chose to be unreasonable..
i chose to be the pampered one..
i chose to be the protected one..
i chose to be selfish..
i chose to change..
i chose to turn my back..
i chose to ignore..
i chose to stay out..
i made all these choices by myself.. now then i know i actually do have choices to make.. =)


wooo!! i'm back from home.. early eh? haha! been staying out late recently, therefore didn't have the time to blog.. well.. yesterday was so fun with sweet!! yeah.. we laugh like siaopehs.. muahahaha!
no one can believe it, i walked home all the way from sweet's house.. arhhHhhh! just by walking throughout that long long journey is enough to drive me so so so crazy.. i've got tiring and sores on my feet!! hmpf!!

the most mischievous ever!!! ohahaha..

meet up with my basketballers today.. woke up early and went to pasir ris park with ying hui, shan and connie.. although there were only 4 of us which was so romantic.. as usual, we had so much fun together.. laughing and joking and play play play.. cycled for around an hour and it started to pour.. OMG! we were all drenched.. returned the bikes and we decided to catch the tattooist at junction 8.. NC16 movie.. a not bad movie, and i almost freak out seeing people with tattoo in the movie died horribly.. so bloody and disgusting.. eeek! but the movie didn't made me change my mind of getting tattoo.. haha.. went back to amk hub and shan finally bought her psp slim.. oh yeah! don't know why, i'm happier than her can.. but i swear that i'm not gonna bring my psp out when there's gathering with them in future in case i don't see the reason why we should meet up.. haha.. people with psp will just get sucked into their psp and no one will do the talking anymore.. they are just like magnets with north and south poles.. that is still not the worst, we may even neglect those without psp.. haha.. thanks chua ying hui for everything today.. without her, i don't know how am i gonna survive throughout the day.. =)
now then i know i'm really in need of money..
i want a 4Gb memory card for my psp to store more games..
i want new games for my psp..
i want a a better psp pouch..
i wanna have my psp upgraded and installed a program to download games..
OMG! i find myself such a spendrift just wanting to buy those psp stuffs.. cannot be blame.. haha.. i think just by wanting all the above i need at most 200bucks i guess.. i need to work can!! i need to support myself so that i won't be so dependent on my daddy for my expenses.. other than stuffs for my psp..
i need a new pair of shoes, heels or slippers.. running out of shoes to wear!!
i need more clothes cause i realised i've been wearing the same clothes everytime when i'm out.. that was so paiseh.. pictures i took showed that i've been repeatingly wearing the same clothes for uncountable times..
i need a haircut soon.. my fringe is like blocking my view and i know that someday i'll rubbed my eyes till my eyeballs drop.. so pricky and itchy!! my hair is getting thicker and thicker again..
i need a new hair colour before chinese new year..
i have a goal for myself.. if i'm able to find a job soon, i'll try to buy everything by myself.. EVERYTHING!! provided i'm able to pay for my own expenses then i'll give a little to my parents.. i'm a grown up, i need to support them and the family a little.. if not then i shall wait till my birthday and get them from my siblings and parents as my birthday presents.. ohahahaha!!


there are just certain matters that i shouldn't care about too much.. i should stay out a little bit..
i shouldn't get affected for certain stuffs too.. people nowadays do agitate me easily.. either by their actions or words they used..

i'm just so into RnB music nowadays.. they make me feel high whenever i listen to them.. haha!!still, my favourite is BECAUSE OF YOU!! i feel relax and at least listening to them will let me forget about being agitated.. ain't that great.. =)


i miss those photography days at netherlands.. i miss using that camera to take pictures of the skies.. there is this someday.. i wanna bring my camera out with me to take pictures of singapore regardless of anything.. i wanna retrieve those shooting days.. i wanna make an album out of it.. =)


sometimes i just don't know what am i escaping from.. neither do i know who am i escaping from.. i just think that i'm always being too sensitive.. in fact, i'm alright now.. ain't hiding anything from anybody.. no secret at all la.. just being so so so random again..

weather hasn't been good nowadays.. bro and i are missing those days when we played basketball under that super heavy rain so crazily.. we decided to meet up someday to play basketball when it's raining cats and dogs.. =)


why do i sense jealousy?
why do i feel awkward?
why do i feel uneasy?
why do i feel lonely?
why am i confused?
why do i feel upset at times?
why do i feel disappointed?
well, it's all me..


and finally i went to recruit express to look for liz to help me to look for job.. maybe it's really not a right thing to get the agency to help me to look for job.. cause they'll draw commission from us.. but thinking back, it saves me a lot of trouble.. save my transport fee, travelling journey and most importantly saves time!! =) i hope i'll be able to get a job soon.. company company, employ me!! i need a job desperately.. thanks bro for accompanying me today although he seems to be rushing for time just now..
met up with jo, an qi and wei shan just now.. hmmm, they are one of my 3 happy pills.. always so happy when i'm with them.. we can just laugh and rubbish throughout the whole day.. but i hope i need not wait for that an qi xiao peng you for an hour the next time.. now then i know if you overstay inside the platform for an hour, you'll have to pay $2.. which is OMG!! so expensive can!! =( people might think that an hour is already very long, not to say 2 hours! i was inside for 2 hours.. including the travelling time to boon lay.. though the charge is still the same, still, it's EXPENSIVE!!
not going to sentosa tomorrow.. SAD!! all my fault for being so broke recently.. i'm here to apologise to those who need to "yang" wo for the past few days.. been really really broke nowadays.. but thanks.. haha! just plainly the transport fare is enough to kill me can!! chacha!! bangbang!! how i wish i have a money tree at home.. so that whenever i'm broke, i can just shake the tree and dollar notes will just fall.. mr blue, miss red, mrs purple, mdm green.. haha! alright, i'm just dreaming.. don't slap me! ha!!


everytime when i go to my documents to open up the darlings folder i will never fail to laugh or even smile at those pictures i took with bro and sweet.. especially with sweet, pictures we took are always so retarded and imageless.. take me for example.. i'm always posing those horrigible and unglam expressions.. maybe that was why kor said that i have multiples of expressions.. but i still love those pictures we took.. maybe i should say we are just being ourselves.. natural ma.. haha.. i'm never afraid that i'll spoil my image in front of anybody especially to someone i like.. i mean why should i bother.. i'm the one taking pictures, it's for myself to enjoy the process and not to refrain myself.. i just love picturing!! =) that's me!!
ya, i'm being random again for posting this entry..


sweet says i haven't been updating for some time and therefore here i am now.. =) get well soon sweet.. please be a good girl by taking your medicine on time.. drink more water if you can alright.. =)

didn't know how much can i believe your words.. but it doesn't matter anymore because everything is over now.. what matters is both of us are leading a better and happier life than before.. still, thanks for answering whatever questions i asked you.. whatever choice you made is all about you.. i chose not to bother because we don't belong as one anymore.. i may seem cold on the outside but actually i'm just hiding on the inside.. or perhaps it's another boundary i've built.. once again.. i'm trying to protect myself.. at least i'm a lot better than few weeks ago.. =) i don't know why but i'm still holding on..
i've decided not to meet up this week.. maybe i'm just being ridiculous, but i don't wish to see you for the time being.. you are still like the past, never change.. but me, i've changed.. i have to.. so that i wouldn't hold on and be like a dumb like that..

i've been wanting to ask myself a few questions.. am i happy nowadays? i mean i'm happy when i'm with my friends.. but why have i been wanting to go to my secret hideout recently.. what's going with me and my friends nowadays? i don't know.. maybe there's nothing wrong.. but i just seem to find some flaws to certain matters.. do i pissed people off easily due to my ridiculous cum contradicting thoughts and feelings? am i like a dumb at times? arhHHhhHhh!! i don't know.. perhaps it's all because of the boredom i get nowadays that cause me to have so much thoughts nowadays..


i once thought there are all sorts of possiblities for us.. i thought time can just slowly bring things back.. i thought you seem determined.. but now.. i know, no more.. because i know that you made a choice that will bring us further apart..

i need a job soon!! getting more and more broke.. =(


haven't been using the com and blogging for days and my hands are itching like nobody's business.. been going out for the past few days..
friday, 9th november 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIANG!! =)
meet bro to accompany him to the dental.. tried out a lot of places but almost all need appointment.. this is ridiculous can.. who in the world can predict that they will have toothache in advance.. finally went to one which was so near to my house.. bro finally had the filling taken out and finally he's not so noisy now.. he's gonna get that tooth plucked on this wednesday.. get well soon bro.. =) went out with his sis and friends and went down to junction 8 to meet miang and the rest.. caught bee movie, nice!! wanted to go pub initially but the time was too late.. so went back to amk to chit chat instead..
saturday, 10th november 2007
accompanied sweet and javier to dye their hair and went town after that.. came back to ang mo kio and me and sweet took lots of pictures.. simply love those pictures that we took.. everytime we never fail to pose those funny and retarted poses!!
sunday, 11th november 2007
woke up early in the morning to go to sentosa.. OMG!! the sun is still not that sunny.. but i played basketball with kelvin and kenrick.. we were against a group of chinese guys.. played for quite long and the feeling of playing basketball was super great.. so happy and i managed to get tanned a little.. haha!! still with that reddish face like what bee eng said.. i'm like foody!! =) went back to ang mo kio to meet the rest.. before that, finally saw honey!! haven't seen her for so long can.. after dinner went to zone-x and watched them played games.. after that went to kpool for pool.. hmmm, although there weren't much people present for the outing.. still had quite some fun.. we were like back to those days.. just that we didn't take pictures.. otherwise we would have more fun ever..
monday, 12 november 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONIC!!! you are finally 18... congrats!! haha..

woke up and i'm down with body sores and aches.. OMG!! i move like a robot.. ACHES AND SORES!!! oh man.. sweet is sick too.. she said that she's down with fever.. poor thing.. she looked so weak when i met her last night.. sayang sayang.. get well soon!! =)


went thai express for dinner with mummy this evening.. OMG!! i super love the tom yum seafood soup can!! ai ya!! should have take pictures with mummy just now.. forgot!! =( there was this little boy who was super cute.. he was sitting beside our table.. he was fierce can, when the waiter took away the plate of food which he was eating, he just screamed at the waiter.. then when mummy asked if he wanna sit with us, he screamed again.. he was just so cute.. then when he was sitting beside his mummy, he came over beside me and took my phone.. i think the lollipops caught his attention.. haha.. when his mum tried to get it back for me, he kept it to himself as if that phone was his.. his face was really cute.. he went off and say bye in a shy shy look.. how i wish i can take him home.. haha!! say say only, say already don't need to do it one.. it's free of charge!! ha!
AND!!! i saw cousin josephine, her hubby and BABY JADEN!! my dearest baby nephew.. oh my oh my oh my!! saw quite a lot of people when i went to amk hub just now..
finally i have plannings for tomorrow!! yeah!! don't have to stay home and rot anymore!! haha!! happy happy happy!!


javier eng!! be strong, be brave, be alright.. everything will soon be fine.. we're always here for you!! and of course not forgetting that i'm a great listening ear!! anytime and anywhere.. =) don't know why am i writing so much, just wonder if you'll read.. haha.. you better tag if you ever read.. otherwise i'll cha cha you!! haha!!
to that mr chua jing long.. know that you most probably will read my blog.. therefore i would like to tell you something..
PLEASE GO AND SEE THE DENTIST SOON!! OTHERWISE DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME!! I'M BEING REAL SERIOUS ABOUT IT.. CAN YOU TELL WITH THE WAY I WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!! I WANNA YOU TO GO AND SEE DENTIST!! NO BARGAIN!! I DON'T WANNA YOU TO TALK TO ME WITH YOUR FILTHY AND DECAYING TOOTH!!

my mood yesterday was super weird.. almost quarrelled with sweet.. my god!! the first time ever.. sorry guys especially SWEET.. i'm alright anyway.. forgive me for being so weird yesterday.. i still love you la!! and you gotta still love me like you usually do.. =)
today, 2nd day, woke up doing nothing except playing with my psp.. super nothing to do can.. feel so like playing basketball but didn't ask those juniors cause some of them are still having examinations.. so might as well wait for them to finish their examinations then ask them out for basketball..
i feel so contradicted at the moment.. if i work, i'll have no time to play.. if i don't work, i'll not have sufficient allowance for myself.. what to do!! those plannings that others planned, i'm so afraid that i'll not have time to join them.. but i also can't continue to rot at home like that.. sooner or later, i'll just decompose and disappear into the thin air..


haven't been to my secret hideout for so long.. i miss going there.. i miss my randomness.. just go there when i feel like without any notice, without anyone knowing..
i miss those days when i sat there all alone..
sit for hours..
sort my thoughts out..
listen to mp3..
off my phone..
no one can locate me..
cry when i feel like..
sing when i feel like..
"se" when i feel like..

i wonder why i ain't that random anymore..


FINALLY!!! my examinations are over! i'm free like a little bird!! gonna enjoy myself by doing things i've been wanting to do and keep myself fit and healthy.. =)
after the papers, went home to wash up and went to meet ying hui.. went to marina square to catch the movie, game plan.. quite nice eh.. worth watching.. while waiting for hui min, walked around marina square like for so so so many times can.. meet her during her lunch time and we went to catch our movie, waited for her again after the movie, went to eat doughnut factory.. yeah!! had double chocolate and mint dark chocolate.. =) and went to junction 8 together to meet the rest of the people.. haven't seen them for so long and it's still fun spending time with them.. =) waited for them to finish their food and we brought out the birthday cake and sang song.. walked around junction 8 and i just reached home..
and now, i also know who is the unknown.. chua cun fang, you can't hide from me cause the way you write is simply so recogniseable.. haha!!! and also that liu shu jun.. come and read my blog secretly and leave secretly right.. all pai kias!!! haha..
anyway, had much fun with all these little kids today.. take care everyone and shall get everyone for some gathering some day..
oh ya, they are already making plans for christmas day.. 25th!! i wonder if i'll be going.. have so many reasons that i may or may not be going.. still thinking..


i swear i'm loving my baby niece and nephew more and more each day.. ever since baby kyra was borned, i haven't have the chance to see her at all.. but after reading her blog just now.. i swear she's real lovely.. =) how i wish i can see her soon!!



these childish and fierce looking guys sometimes can actually be very cute looking.. haha!!




and so i finally know who is the ????, someone whom i've suspected for a while but gave up the thought of her.. she's smart and good at faking me.. i've always thought it's someone else and didn't really knew she would be the one.. nehneh sai! i'm like a dumb like that.. still tell her there's this person tagging me which made me feel so insecure.. then i still told bro that wo zai ming ta zai an.. nehneh sai!! but i still love sweet!!! =)
anyway, OMG! i'm sick.. sore throat and running nose!! damn!! fell sick at the wrong time can.. plus my lousy mood.. make everything worst!! don't like don't like!!!
but i'm still going out later.. haha.. gonna celebrate javier's birthday.. didn't feel like going cause i feel weird.. but because of him, must still give him a little tiny whiny bit of face.. haha.. so i most probably should still be going.. didn't wanna spoil the mood..

get well soon abby tay sze lee.. =)

be happy
be strong
be brave
i can do it..
i can overcome..
i can endure through..

cause i'm abbytayszelee! =)


sneeze sneeze sneeze.. choo choo choo!!! arh chooOoooO!!
chacha!! arhHhhhH!!
stupid flu! go away!! my nose is dropping very soon if i continue like this.. i wonder is it the dust from the environment that cause me to keep on sneezing for days.. or is it some irritating virus is pestering me..

anyway, i'm feeling real down today.. stupid dumb lousy mood.. damn shit!! driving me crazy soon! don't know what went wrong with me.. tears flow just like that.. maybe i'm really thinking too much.. maybe i'm just worrying too much.. why am i bearing those that i need not to.. i should be happy and glad that my hard times and grounding days are gonna be over soon.. i should be happy that my examinations are ending soon.. i should be happy that i'm on good terms with mummy now.. not throwing tantrums as and when i want to.. i should also be happy with my life now..
but i just feel so upside down now!! i don't like!!! =(
and i confirm that i'm not having moodswings nor pms..

terrible