Tuesday, May 01, 2007
blogging is a way to express myself when i chose not to speak up to others.. it's not about publicising.. although others may know how i'm feeling or even know what am i talking about.. they can just chose whether to ask more deep in depth and it's up to me to decide if i wanna tell them.. not speaking up is not because i'm bottling up my feelings.. it's because i don't wish to add on unhappiness to others..
why can i just give others so much advise and yet i can never seem to advise myself to think it through about those advises i gave.. we're on the same kinda boat but i chose to let others to take things more easily than i am.. but i myself still chose not to do almost the same thing that i told others.. sometimes i just think if i'm being too harsh and rash.. maybe i'm in the wrong or maybe some day i'll just regret for everything i've done.. i don't know if i'll feel better about it.. giving in and getting in return are just nothing.. i don't wish for anything in return and not even to say cruelty.. what i don't wanna get back in return is cruelty.. it's only that that i don't wanna gain.. i rather i get nothing compare to the cruelty i've got.. merciless is what i can describe it as..
i might be how one told me, i can stay so happy from the outside but deep inside me.. i'm as depressed and miserable as no one can imagine.. but i'm sure that someday i'll be able to just forget about it when i got busy with other stuffs.. but the someday will be an unknown cause i don't know how long will i take.. it just need to take so much time to heal my wound.. it's a deep deep wound which i've got..
i just wish how good will it be if my life can be plainly so simple..
There isn't a single human being who hasn't plenty to cry over, and the trick is to make the laughs outweigh the tears.
12:40:00 AM
