Wednesday, April 04, 2007
i'm sorry if i hindered you.. i don't mean it but seriously everytime whenever i see the difference in you.. i just totally lost control in myself.. i don't know what exactly are you thinknig about.. but i'm simply just so afraid of losing you.. i wish you can forgive me for what i'd done.. it's just so foolish of me to behave in this way, but my feelings just don't follow what i'm trying to do.. i don't wanna upset anyone nor hurt anyone due to my behaviour and reaction.. i know it's really foolish and childish of me to behave and react like that.. sorry may not help, but hiding from it doesn't help too.. i really don't know what can i do to stop myself from doing those stuffs.. but time and again, i'm just repeating the same mistake.. there are times when i thought i could just let things be and just forget about it.. i even thought i should just... right in my heart, i still can't.. i'm selfish but i can't chose not to be like that.. i think i gonna admit it and just stop lying to myself.. i wish it wasn't true.. in facat, it's just so factual that i myself also can't explain nor deny anymore.. it should just be kept as an everlasting secret cause if it ever leaks, changes will happen and i just can't bear the consequences.. but me myself also don't wanna live in the dark and it can just be so frightening..
11:34:00 PM
